LONG TIME

wow. it’s been super long since I’ve been on this site… pretty much forgot all about it.  A lot has happend over the years. 
 To start off: August 18, 2008 I had a little girl named Kara Marie.  She was 6# 14oz and 19in. long.  I was in labor for about 13 long hours with 2 hours of pushing… What hard work that was. Now she is about to be 8 months.  Time is going by super fast.
This past January I FINALY got into the nursing program and NWTC after being on the waiting list for a couple of years.  I like it a lot, just very time consuming and lots of studying and hard work.  Clinicals started 2 weeks ago and so far so good… I think the hardest part is going to school, working and being a mom all together.  Times have have rough…
Things haven’t been going smooth between derek and I.  We’ve been arguing more often than we used to.  I think it’s mostly the stress i’m under and him not helping me with kara as much as I want him too.  He’s a good person, just doesnt get the point of responsibility that came with a baby… I have to ask him to do things instead of him asking me if there is anything he could do to help or just looking to see what can be done.  I hate telling him what to do, and another thing is that I never get to sleep in anymore… so when I get the chance to sleep in, I want to take it.  Derek gets totally pissed at me if I ask him to wake up with Kara (which is about 9:00 ish AM).  He always complaines how tired he is… well if he wouldn’t stay up so late (3:30-4:00 ish AM) playing poker online, he wouldn’t be so tired… I have no sympathy cuz he does it to himself.  It just gets fustrating that he has to have his way or shit hits the fan…
 plus the bad habbits he has-smoking- he was supposed to quick in July… never did even though he promised… then he said he’d quite by the time kara was born… hasn’t yet… and now it’s one of those things that bothers me the most… he told me he’s cut down but i know he hasn’t…. and that’s one of the things that’s been a conflict. To be honest, if I knew in the beginning that derek smoked… we would most likely have never been together… and now that its been over 2 years… its hard… I tell derek how I feel all the time–I do not sugar coat things… I tell how it is… i just dont think he’ll get it…  there’s so much more for me to talk about but I dont want this to be a complaining session about all the issues that are going on so i’m gonna get goin’ and head to bed… 
g’night..
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